I go home, questioning my disappointment, wondering why I feel so swirly inside. I want to go with the group to the gay club but I feel it’s not my place - even though some of my straight friends are tagging along. We walk by a gay club and the group splits. It’s late and the night is either coming to a close or just beginning. I’m with some of these friends and some gay friends of friends. I’m about to start my junior year of college and as far as I know I’m straight and all my friends are straight. I don’t know, am I crazy? Overreacting? How can I actually enjoy myself in a gay club? Do I even have to like gay clubs? A: Even my queer friends don’t get why it bothers me so much to see straight women there. It felt a bit like everyone there was a gay man or a straight woman, and I feel crazy for finding that really frustrating. Ok, so this past week I went to a gay club in downtown Toronto for the first time (I turned 19 during the pandemic, so I haven’t been able to go out until now) and I was expecting to have a grand old time where I felt super at ease and like I was surrounded by other queer people, and instead I felt super worried that I was somehow doing it wrong or that all the women/femmes who were there weren’t queer to begin with.
